Love Manoeuvres
Kelvin and ‘his’ women—
the women
he had SEEN somewhere.
in Cambridge there were many
of them, beautiful
and rich, some foreign and
racy-looking but, he claimed,
lesbians every last man of ’em.
with him it was a battle
he was waging, he never
ran away from a girl a little
in the divine game.
Cupid’s a whimsical fellow
but with Kelvin it was all so
deadly serious it’s no wonder
they found him a turn-off.
he was mad at them—
they didn’t get their panties
down quick enough and
he didn’t exactly ladle on
the old ‘politesse’.
rapier wit and waspishness
might get a laugh out of a girl
but it’s no way (I fancy)
to get a girl out of her clouts.
he was always ready
to take a break from the battle to
talk it over with me or Wes
in a pub but the folksy girls
we were all looking for then
never materialised.
as far as I know
Kelvin’s still in a
blessed state
of celibacy
or, as Wes used to term it,
‘sea bass’.
The Date
they said they’d
found me this chick
and all I had to do
was show up for
a coffee but
when I did she only
looked about
60 years ‘young’.
turned out she
knew me way back
and offered next time
to make herself
more presentable
as in the heyday.
when we met again
and went on
the town, guess what,
she did look more like
40 years ‘young’.
she really seemed
to have fire in
the boiler and honey
in the hips.
she drew admiring glances
as did I
for squiring her.
yes, the chick could
have been 30 years
‘young’.
the promise was
fulfilled
and brothers,
I can reliably report
that a little later
there was had
a whale
of a time.
