Circus
I hav wrkd w/ a many drunks they hav tot me many things
I wrkd w/ chester on th circus th first time I saw him he was drunk passd out in his
bunk on nth truk
- he’ll wake up wn we take th tent down
I drank w/ chester during th lon aftrnoons between putting th th tent up & taking it
down that was until chester got 2 drunk & startd missing th nite shift
- how can someone do that 2 thmslvs?
I wishd th fukkr wd leave th show so they wd hire somebody els
-how can u let yrself gt that bad?
Aftr awhile billy who was n th lowr bunk sd
don’t think
about that shit
one day
I com home
From school &
my mothrs ded
she shot hrself w my rifl
now
I don’t think about that
watt wd I do if I spnt all my time w/ my mind on that?
Billy left th show aftr trying 2 borrow $20 & stealing one of my shirts
th net morning whitey th sideshow boss punhd chester out & thn fired him
that nite all th roughneks wer gtting reddy 2 rap up th big top th huge canvas was
spred on th ground we stood n th glare of th floods gripping its edgs otto was th bigtop
boss a squad car pulld up 2 th lot 2 cops got out & wnt ovr 2 otto
-i have no time for this I must gt this job don
th cops got him ovr 2 the squad car they opnd th bak door & otto lookd n as they talkd 2
him thr blue flashr squalld ovr th hole scene otto suddenly straitnd up
I han no time for this
I don’t know that man
that is not man
that is animal
I hav no time
w/ that he charged off th cops stood around for awile until at last gtting n th squad
turning off th beacon & driving away
th following morning th circus left for th nxt town that afternoon we wr drinking around
th truks wn who do we see sting on a bench across th street but chester som
guys wnt over & gave him som change a downpour startd we sat n th truks letting th
cool air n watching it rain chester was a grey blur thru th torrent
th next day th weathr was wors whitey saw th sideshow tent, his job, flapping in a hi
wind whitey had run away 2 join th circus as a boy, repeatedly, until finally nobody
came 2 bring him bak th first time I saw him he was xposing himself 2 someone across
th midway he stood n th doorway 2 his truk, his cok hanging down, laughing he shook
my hand -yr my nu man- he sd chester was ok as long as he stuk 2 beer
whitey also ran th elefant act th act before that was a clown act th clown had a small
son who had opn heart suregery 2 big pink scars crisscrossed his chest he was about
10 & seemd 2 hav an advancd gnawlej of sex as we wrkd he wd comment on watt chester
probably liked
-i bet u like it like that chester he sd aftr one nvolvd scenario chester turnd & startd n
th boys direction th boy ran out of range before wheeling, thrusting his face forward,
tong twisting n his opn mouth
th clowns wife took tikkts for th sideshow whitey was banging hr n th tent before th
bigtop startd one nite as I sat by th truk waiting for hr 2 go n th ntent w th tikkt box I
saw the clown standing n th shado of another truk a hand gun gleamd dimly but she just
left the tikkt box out & returnd 2 th bigtop aftr awile he popkketd th gun & left
once whitey describd his youngr days lrning 2 wrk th elefants he wrkd w/ another guy
& thy wr rivals for th job
- clyde wd put an elefants eye out for nothing he hit thm around th eyes all th time
one time we got into it w/ th hooks-
Elefant hooks wr 3-foot long stakes w a steel hook on th nd usd for guiding or
prodding or whacking th elefants
-he stooppd wn I got him here- whitey reachd ovr & jabbd 2 fingrs into the soft
triangle wher my collarbone joind my shouldr
-we was n th hospital gttn blood transfusions for 3 days aftr that
chester sd whitey was ok as long as he stayd off wine & pills
I thot he was an asshole we had an old man on our crew, an old drunk who cdnt wrk
much one day he cut his leg th old man kept gtting sikkr & th leg uglier
I sd whitey we need 2 do something
he sd ok bu nevr did anything
days passd I saw th old mans eyes as he lay sik n his bunk he was resignd 2 th fact
whitey was just waiting 2 kik him off th show I kept bring it up until for som reasn
whitey sd ok & drove him 2 th emergency room
later we wr pitching th show on a blacktop parking lot thr was a mekaniel drivr 2 drive
th spikes 2 hold th tents as it wrkd on th bigtop it broke down
fuk I sd this will take all day
no it won’t whitey ansrd we’ll pitch th sideshow by hand
whitey grabbd one of th 3-foot spike & a hammr using his rist he began drving it
down th blacktop broke up easily
we gegan driving th stakes it was a hot erly summr morning one of whiteys buddy
showd up w a jiggr of martinis th guy pourd me a martini as I drank he laffd
- that’s watt th folks on th hill drink
we wnt bak 2 wrk, beginning by holding th hammr hi w/ our fists, thn sliding down th
handl, gradually ncreasing our swing, finishing w/ wide arcs putting our hole bodies
into it as we swung at full throttle whiteys pal chantd
break an arm
break a leg
break an ankl
break yr head
I was swetting like a pig th bigtop got th automatic drivr going agn
-we shd have waitd
-we’ll beat that drvr- whitey began 2 sing swinging th hammr long raggd swings
I got a job
make a grown man cry
I got a job
make a grown man cry
ride that glory train
on th day I die
I will liv
until I die
o I will liv
until I die
ride that glory train
up into th sky
I will ride
that glory train
I will ride
that glory train
no more trouble
no more pain
th next day I had a hi fever, a continous dream n th hevvy smell of th bunk, th darknss
of th truk, & pale faces drifting n & out it ook th old man days 2 pestr whitey nto
taking me 2 th hospital
as I lay on th cold xaminging tabl th nurs lookd at me
-u shd b w/ yr mama
That & beating up chester clued me n on whitey
Now, whitey looked up & saw his tent waving n a hi wind he tried 2 gt me & th old
man 2 stabilize th poles but I didn’t no watt I was doing & th old man had no strength
Whitey saw chester sting on th ground across th lot he wnt over 2 him they stood &
Talkd, thn shook hands shcester follwd whitey ovr 2 us one of his eyes was blood
red ew shook his hand he was a lazarus 2 us together we secured th poles on wet ground
Aftr that chester wrkd th bigtop one afternoon he left th lot as usual 2 drink that
was th last anyone saw him som mn saw him at a bar a few bloks away they wr th
last 2 himm
